Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How does it feel to date your dad?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
