Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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