I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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