i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
