Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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