Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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