I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
