The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
