How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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