eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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