Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
