she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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