I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
