You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
