Pappa wants mamma naked
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
