He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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