Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
