last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
