I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
