So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
