That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
