Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm too high and old for this...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
