Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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