Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
