using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
