just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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