But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
