The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
