the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
