My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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