Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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