also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
