u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
