I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
