Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
