Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So vagazzling was a success
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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