it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
