we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
