So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
