there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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