what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I could make wine with my vomit
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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