Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Buhtt sex?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize