This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
