I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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