omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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