it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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