It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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