remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
