I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
