I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
