So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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