Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You need Xanax blowdarts
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
