i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
