is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
