I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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