Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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