i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that đ I went with "no"
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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