take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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