I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
