barbara walters just said penis...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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